When Duty Calls: Conflicting Values as a Physician

When Duty Calls: Conflicting Personal And Professional Values

As I sat in the hospital waiting room, my mind bounced between worrying about my dad and feeling guilty about the work I was missing. My dad was undergoing a heminephrectomy, and I had taken time off to be with him and support my mom. Despite having sufficient leave and supportive colleagues, I felt like a slacker, unable to shake the feeling that I was letting people down.

The Waiting Room Wake-Up Call

Throughout the day, I caught myself compulsively checking emails and my Epic Inbasket, an unconscious habit. This internal struggle between my desire to be fully present for my family and my perceived professional obligation to stay connected to work left me feeling conflicted and drained.

I know I am not alone in this experience. Our medical training creates an interesting paradox: We’re taught to be compassionate healers, yet somehow, we’ve normalized sacrificing our personal lives for the sake of our profession. But here’s the real question: Does this actually make us better doctors?

Understanding Our Value System

Behavior is largely driven by our values – the principles and beliefs that guide our decisions and actions. While we can hold a limitless number of values, most of us have 5-10 core values that form the foundation of our character. These remain relatively consistent throughout our lives, but our priorities can shift over time. For instance, two of my top values are freedom and family. In my younger years, I prioritized personal freedom over family obligations. As I’ve grown older and life has changed, family has taken the top spot in my value hierarchy.

The Clash of Personal and Professional Value Systems

The conflict I felt in the waiting room arose because it is possible to hold different sets of values that influence our behavior depending upon the circumstance. These include:

• Personal values (family, health, happiness)
• Professional values (patient care, excellence, dedication)
• Institutional values (efficiency, productivity, protocol)

The Hidden Curriculum of Medical Training

Medical training instills a specific set of professional values in physicians through explicit teaching and a hidden curriculum. These values include hard work, dedication, respect for life, patient autonomy, perfectionism, and self-sacrifice. These values combine into a physician’s mindset and create a shared professional identity that sometimes conflicts with personal values and needs. It was this ingrained mindset that led to my feelings of guilt while spending time with my parents during my dad’s illness.

The Burnout Connection

Here’s what nobody tells you in medical school: constantly suppressing personal values for professional ones isn’t just unsustainable – it’s dangerous. I’ve watched brilliant colleagues flame out because they couldn’t reconcile this conflict.

Living a Life True to Your Core Values

As we navigate the complexities of our personal and professional lives, it’s crucial to remember that true fulfillment comes from living in alignment with our core values. Being present for my father’s surgery made me a better physician, not a worse one. It reminded me why I chose medicine: to help people during their most vulnerable moments.

Creating Your Value-Based Practice Framework

How do you align your personal and professional values without compromising either? I’ll share the exact steps I took to restructure my approach to my personal and professional life.

1. Conduct Regular Value Mapping Exercises: Start by identifying your core values. Write down what truly matters to you, both personally and professionally. Perhaps it’s family, integrity, your pets, or the pursuit of excellence. Compare these lists to see where your priorities overlap and where they diverge. This clarity can guide your decision-making in the future.
2. Set Clear Boundaries: Establishing boundaries is crucial in maintaining a work-life balance. This might mean designating specific times for email checks or creating an “off-the-clock” rule where work communications are strictly prohibited outside designated hours. Remember, it’s not about shutting yourself off; it’s about being intentional about your availability.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: Don’t underestimate the power of kindness towards yourself. Acknowledge that it’s perfectly normal to prioritize personal needs and recognize that doing so can help you recharge. Just as you treat your patients with compassion, extend that same courtesy to yourself.
4. Communicate Openly with Your Team: Having an honest dialogue with your colleagues and supervisors about your values can foster a supportive environment. Bring up your struggles during team meetings or one-on-ones. Sharing your experiences may inspire others to do the same, creating a culture of openness and mutual respect.
5. Seek Support from Peers: Find a network of fellow physicians or professionals who understand the challenges of balancing personal and professional values. Support groups or mentorship programs can provide valuable perspectives and coping strategies, reinforcing the idea that you’re not alone in this journey.
6. Align Your Career Choices with Your Values: When considering job offers or new roles, think about how they align with your identified values. Seek work environments that promote well-being and prioritize balance. Sometimes, making a significant change in your practice or even your job can lead to greater fulfillment.

The Transformation Through Reflection

Reflecting on my experience with my father’s health, it became clear that honoring my values didn’t mean I failed my patients. By prioritizing my family’s needs, I learned the importance of connection and empathy in a tangible way.

Ultimately, living an authentic life rooted in your core values isn’t just beneficial for you. It transfers into your practice, too. When we feel whole and fulfilled outside of medicine, we can bring our best selves to the patients who need us.

The Road to Integration: Sustaining Your Personal and Professional Values in Practice

As we all navigate the complexities of being a physician, it’s crucial to remind ourselves that true fulfillment comes from living in alignment with our values. Striking a balance between personal happiness and professional excellence allows us to be compassionate healers while staying true to ourselves.

When I decided to spend quality time with my family during a critical period, I realized that this was the essence of my calling. It wasn’t just about medicine but about caring deeply for those in my life. This perspective will continue to shape how I approach my practice moving forward.

Caring for Yourself is Caring for Others

As physicians, we have a responsibility to care for both our patients and ourselves. By prioritizing our personal values alongside our professional obligations, we can find greater satisfaction in our work and nurture deeper connections in our personal lives.

So, if you’re feeling stretched thin or caught in the tension between your roles, take a moment to reflect. Identify your core values, reassess your priorities, and don’t hesitate to engage in those critical conversations.

Remember, taking care of your well-being isn’t just a personal victory; it’s a vital part of being an effective physician. By honoring your values, you ensure that you’re at your best for your patients – which is the ultimate goal.

Start aligning your life with your values today. Watch how it transforms not just your practice but your entire perspective on medicine. You owe it to yourself and those who rely on you for care.